Laughing out Loud...or is that crying?

    I am getting emotional!...I never saw it coming...not so soon! I knew on the Wedding Day when the music started to play and the wedding party made their entrance that I would get emotional. After all I cry at parades and I never have been able to figure that one out! But this is crunch time and the list  still looms very large. I want to take as much off the shoulders of the  Bride and Groom as I can, so they can relax and truly enjoy the vision they have worked so hard to create. This is go time...gitt'er done time...the tough get going time and I am getting jittery and soft and weepy! What is up with that?
    I am the mother of three boys and that is the crowning achievement of my life. I have always been a  boy's girl,  a tom boy my sons could be proud of!  I taught them to catch frogs and not to fear snakes and to love the outdoors.  I pride myself on being adaptable, on welcoming change and challenges... on never being afraid to get my hair wet or my clothes dirty!  I have never been an outwardly emotional girl and most of the time I remain somewhat detached from my own emotional state. So what is up?
   I am sitting and staring into space thinking about this wedding and what it means for my son and his bride, but also for me. Where is this life affirming ceremony  going to take him and our family...and me...how did I get to this point anyway? Am I really 53 and a mother of the groom? Will there be babies in the near future...am I ready for that?  Am I officially old now? I don't want to be! Will my new daughter feel comfortable with me? Will she love me? ...will I love and honor her the way she deserves? Will my son be a good husband?....  In my heart I really do know the answers to these questions but I still want to be quiet and  envision the answers are all as they should be.
   The fact that I am blogging when I should be crossing things off the list speaks to my state of mind and the fragility of my heart. I feel like I want gather my three little boys to me and ask them not to grow up, but to stay with their mommy forever! OH Brother! did I write that! They would laugh out loud at me! I think I want to laugh out loud...no I think I want to cry... this is insane!
    Matt...you are my first born and you were the first to leave. I am so proud of you and all that you and Alex have already accomplished!  I am so happy for you both and the journey that still is ahead of you.  I hope that Dad and I have done our job and that you will meet your challenges with honor and grace. I wish you joy in each and every day of your life! I love you... sweet baby James.
    Jake you better give me a lots of  time before you make any announcements! Josh...let's go for a walk on the nature trail....
LOL Mom

Thanks for Reading
Lynn

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